The truth is, I realized I enjoyed the friendship more than the courtship. “Wait there’s a difference?” In my case yes. I had to ask myself these questions:
Can I rely on him when things become difficult?
There’s an R& B song that goes “sunny days everybody loves them – can you stand the rain?” Like most people, I won’t date someone who makes me miserable. Having someone to make me laugh and feel comfortable is important. Like the song goes – all of the days won’t be perfect. When things are not easy – does this person have character and strength from God to carry on? I don’t see a point in being in a relationship if someone can’t handle the bad days.
Do I find this person attractive?
Before you judge this question – I’m not saying I have a lustful spirit. I’m not saying you should have sex before marriage. I was reading this book called “Every Young Woman’s Battle” By Shannon Ethridge and Steve Arterburn. It’s a book that talks about dealing with sexual desires as a young woman (it’s really good to check it out.) They were realistic in the end and said: “you can’t get married to someone and be intimate just because they are a good person.” If there is nothing there – it probably won’t grow after marriage. I couldn’t see myself actually being with someone I didn’t see more than just a “great friend”
Are we going down the same path on our walk with Jesus?
As I developed in my walk with Jesus – I began to have spiritual goals. “I want this and that – this is going to happen.” If someone doesn’t respect what you want or is not on the same page – how can it work out?
Do I accept him for where he is now and not his potential?
Seeing so much hope and promise in someone doesn’t mean they see it in themselves. And if they do see it, they may not have the discipline to fulfill those promises. I had to take a step back and see where they were instead of what they could be. Potential is not enough.
These are just my personal things that keep me single until I find someone who is equally yoked. I believe in God’s plans for my life – and I am all in.
14 Don’t become partners with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14