So like I stated in my goals post, men have expressed their interest in me. They were great guys and I found they had potential.
No, I’m not looking for perfection. But the question I have is: how am I supposed to submit to a man who doesn’t even believe in himself.
I’m 25 and my parents are worried I can’t a find a partner. I’m like “relax, I’ve only been single for 6 months, I’m not trying to get into something I will regret for the rest of my life.” And this is where patience comes in.
If this is the season to rest and develop, that is what I’m going to do. Being jealous of other relationships is not going to help my situation. When the right partner comes – I want to fully enjoy him. Bringing baggage and complaints to the table is not a goal of mine.
“He may not come when you want him – but he’ll there right on time” is an old school song we used to sing. God always gives us the things we need, rather than what we want.
Trusting in the highest father is what I’m doing, and I know it will be worth the wait.
In the meantime, I’m making sure my apartment is clean, and I cook meals – even if it’s just for myself. Preparing and evolving is what I’m using my singleness for.
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Surprise! I’m kicking off a new series where I will talk about fruits of the spirit. I’m going to go over each one in my own special way.
The first one I will be talking about is love.
Every person in my life wants to experience this, including myself. As we grow older – our needs change, but the main foundation is love. I remember being a child trying my best to be as cute as I can for the attention of my family.
As I got older my ideas of what I had to do to receive love evolved. Honestly, it became exhausting. I never felt fully satisfied. I went through a phase where I just gave up until I realized these 2 important cliches.
God is the only one that can give you real unconditional love. When someone says “I love you” it’s usually a “but…” at the end. There will always be a price to receive love from humans. Some people standards are low while others are high, but there has to be something given. God’s love is unconditional. There is nothing in this world you can give that God needs. Yet there is an everlasting abundance of acceptance and compassion that is given just for being you.
You have to love yourself first. On the journey of finding out Jesus, I found my identity. The value I had for myself began to grow. All the potential God gave me began to show in the mirror and I was impressed. My standards grew and I no longer lowered myself to please other people. “This is how I deserve to be treated and I’m not here to impress you” became my new attitude. Being born again in Christ gave me a new outlook on myself which made me love myself in Christ. Surprisingly when you love who you are, it’s much easier to love others. It’s true what they say, how you treat other people is how you see yourself.
So there you have it. Love is what we all should live by to make this life worthwhile.
16 And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us.
God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him.
Opening up to people can be scary. Insecurities and anxiety creeps up and backing out seems like that easiest solution.
For the past 5 months – I’ve been working on this.
First I started off with having positive females in my life. Getting cake with the girls every Thursday was rewarding. Chit chatting and being understood gave me the courage to try at life. The simple things made me feel so comfortable as a woman.
I’m sharing my story to suggest : let people in. Not everyone is going to be kind and cool. You can at least try. If someone shows they are cruel – walk away. But I know for a fact someone will accept and love the awesome person you are.
I don’t have all the answers in life but I do know when you are being authentic and jolly – you will find your place in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment.So the one who fears is not complete in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4: 18-19
During a conversation with my dad, my sister jets in the house “I’m so sorry I hit your car.” Everyone runs to the yard to see a big dent on my car. As shocking as it was, my first reaction was to stay calm and silent. “I’ll call the insurance company!” She shouted as she sprinted to her phone.
After wondering if the car still opened I wondered “does this car define me? Is getting angry worth upsetting my sister even more?” Clearly she already felt guilty, was it really the right time to fuel the fire?
In that instant I just walked away. I got in the car checked if it would start. It did – I could get back home. Once we got off the phone with insurance, I said this to my sister:
“I don’t want you to feel bad. The important thing is the car is working. Of course it won’t be as pretty but I’m glad we’re both ok”
She replied : “I’m willing to take blame for this. I’m willing for my insurance to go up so you can get your car fixed.”
It would have been so easy for me to get upset and yell at her mistake. To point out her flaws and analyze every detail of the car. If I did all of that, what would have been the point of Christmas? It is not about material things – the holiday is to glorify Jesus.
So many times Jesus forgave us for our shortcomings – we should be able to do the same for our neighbor. As a Christian, I must treat other’s how I want to be treated. With compassion and empathy. Yes the dent is there – but I would never want to leave a negative mark on a family member. Remember – Jesus is the reason for the season. Let’s live like him.
I realized that I haven’t had any life updates in a while. It is important to spread the gospel but also be transparent. Here is a list of life updates.
I thought December was going to be a month of isolation that was slow and boring. Over the past month, I have met some great people. I feel like this new city thing is finally coming together.
While meeting new people – I now have a clear picture of the type of people I want around me. It’s great for everything to be all fun and games sometimes. When I look back 5 years from now, I want to know I made the most of my potential. Having the right people around is part of being in the right place when I’m 30.
I have finished 1 book (Uncommon) and starting a new book “Greater”. I plan to have a book review for this as soon as I am done.
And the greatest update of all is you awesome people. When I first started this blog, I never expected it to get this far. I had a dream that it would hit 1,000 supporters. For it to come true shows God is really taking care of everything. Thank you so much for watching this website evolve. I feel like I’m getting the hang of this and together we can only get better.
When I’m talking to a potential husband candidate I always ask “how have you been spending your 20s?” “If you’re 26, what have you been doing these past 6 years?” If he doesn’t have a good enough answer, I am not interested. Here’s a list of what I’ve been doing so I have the perfect answer if someone ask me the same thing.
Building my relationship with Jesus
Going to counseling so I won’t come with unnecessary baggage.
Spending time with my family
Building healthy relationships with god fearing ladies
Updating my wardrobe
Trying out cute hair styles
Getting my nails done
Reading self help books
Watching relationship videos
Experiencing life within limits
Doing my makeup
Learning new recopies
Making it a habit to keep my apartment clean
Making it a habit to keep my car clean
Reading scriptures on what being a wife is all about
Learning parenting skills through my puppy
Focusing on my career
Loving the life I have
Making peace out of the life I have
Analyzing my previous relationships so I know what to do next time
Organizing my finances
Going to the gym
Not entertaining guys I don’t see a future with
Letting God pick the one
Please don’t sit at home hoping wishing and praying for your husband to come. Get yourself in order so when he comes, you will be ready to have an equal partnership.
22 A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22